I’ve wanted to start a blog for a LONG time but when it came down to actually writing….AND writing about ME and My Story….I seriously struggled. I want to share my journey. And, I want to share it not only to try let go of some of my past but to truly move on with a more confident and positive way of thinking. I want to share it in the hopes that if it helps even one person with a similar story, it is more than worth it. And, I want to share it not only to help and inspire but to show people that although they’re never alone, only they can decide to let go of what’s holding them back. So, I know WHY I want to share it….but I’ve had a hard time “putting it down on paper”…..like almost a YEAR-LONG struggle of too hard to put down on paper!
Every time I come back trying to write this, I tear up. And, maybe my story is no different than others you’ve read, but the thing that’s held me back is that it is MINE and to be vulnerable for the whole world to see is a pretty scary thing. I don’t want people to think less of me. And, I want people to actually WANT to read it! 😉
I’ve had self esteem issues for as long as I can remember. I’ve spent the majority of my life comparing myself to and being jealous of others. Oh, she’s prettier than me. Oh, she’s skinnier than me. Oh, she has cuter clothes than me. Oh, she’s FUNNIER than me. Oh, they have more money than me. And, to be honest, I had a hard time even liking some people for those reasons! It’s SUCH a vicious and UNPRODUCTIVE cycle and no way to live your life. So…..I stopped. And, not just because it’s crazy ridiculous to compare yourself to others or to not like someone based on outward appearances or the material things you see….but also because you don’t know what inner battles they could be fighting as well!
And, I’ve had issues with food for as long as I can remember. We didn’t have a lot of money growing up and I remember waking up in the middle of the night to go sneak my step-dad’s snacks for his lunch or sneak cookies or bars or other food from the kitchen. We weren’t really allowed to eat those things because they were almost always for his lunch. I even remember that if we were home alone, we would have to call them wherever they were to ask if we could have pop or snacks. Things were pretty much on lock-down. And, then, my dad had me on weekends and during the summer and was a total health fanatic…he & my step-mom were vegetarian and were absolutely anti-junk food & pop….which looking back is GREAT but when that food had already been off-limits but for a different reason, it was hard as a kid to accept & understand so it almost became a challenge for me to get my hands on it. One of my grandmas would even hide candy and junk and sneak it to me ;), which is really funny to think about now, but unfortunately, it taught me to hide food at a young age and it’s been an uphill battle to overcome. (Pretty sure I hid some chip dip in the very back of the fridge, along with chips in a cupboard NOT even in the kitchen, only a few weeks ago….yeah, not gonna lie….I STILL struggle with the food issue!).
My highest pre-pregnancy weight was 199. I remember seeing that number and saying that I would NEVER be in the 200s. And, I broke that promise because I got pregnant not too long after that and got to 216 😉 But, after I had my daughter, I KNEW I needed to make a change. I wanted to be stronger and healthier for me of course but I even more knew I had to do be that for her. I didn’t want her to grow up with the same self esteem issues I did. And, I wanted her to have a healthy relationship with food.
I’m almost 40 now and I’m JUST figuring it out. I have to try really hard to not get caught up in the whole “why didn’t I do this sooner” mentality…..after all, most of my “good years” are gone, right?? WRONG! My best years are yet to come. The best years of my life BY FAR will be watching my daughter grow up…and to watch her grow up with the tools & knowledge I didn’t have. So, yes, what really matters is that I’m focusing on ME and I’m doing this NOW.
A HUGE part of the reason I can say I’m finally making a change in all areas of my life is because I found Team Beachbody Coaching. I had been working out and really focusing on the fitness aspect of trying to be healthier for quite a few years but I wasn’t entirely there yet mentally to focus on my eating and positive thinking. I took a HUGE step in the right direction when I became a Coach last October. Becoming a Coach has introduced me to a whole new life. The people I’ve met or reconnected with even in the seven months since I started this journey have had SUCH an amazing impact on me. It really is true that you become a more positive and focused person when you surround yourself with positive, like-minded people. People who are in this life to not only make a better life for our kids but to pay it forward to others who are ready for a change. People who have similar stories. People who have very different stories. People who have had some VERY difficult things to overcome. And, people who are willing to share their stories if only to help ONE person. We talk about our “WHY” often when it comes to being a Coach. We share with fellow coaches. We share with potential clients and coaches. It’s an ever-evolving why. I discover a new reason why I love this and why I NEEDED this almost every time I’m asked!
Please don’t think this is going to be a blog about all things BEACHBODY, however! You will see PLENTY of posts about it because it’s a HUGE part of my LIFE now but I will be posting other things about my life and my family and my nutrition and my crazy ADD workout habits and my hobbies and all things random!
Thank you for taking the time to read this and hope you check back here often! Take a look at this before you leave 🙂
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WITH LOVE, DINA!