I’m gonna have WAY more to say on body shaming but here’s the start of it.

I’ve body-shamed myself my whole life.  And, to be completely honest, I still sometimes get stuck on how I look in the mirror.  Committing to do this bikini competition has definitely messed with my mind a little.  So, for the last couple months as I take my progress pics, I start to kinda hyperventilate that I’m really gonna take the stage in a bikini in July.  I get caught up on how my cellulite looks….I start fixating on my belly fat….my stretch marks…..and my c-section shelf…..and wonder how I’m EVER gonna get rid of it.

But, then I remember this is my journey.  And, everyone person on that stage is on their own journey and isn’t going to be looking at me to body shame me.  They are gonna be far too busy being damn proud of what they’ve accomplished.  (You know what?  Maybe some WILL in fact body shame me but I know that doing so would be more about them and their character than about me and my journey.  They will have no idea my story to get there.!) My body is my body because I’m a woman and I store extra fat!  Part of this is simply how God made me!  And, who I am to question and be frustrated with that?  Women’s bodies were created to bring life into this world!  I have cellulite because most of the women on the planet have cellulite!  I have belly fat because of God, genetics and a lot of yo-yo and unhealthy dieting over the years.  And, I have a c-section shelf and stretch marks because I have an ah-mazingly beautiful little 6 year old that rules my world.

So, I work hard EVERY day to not body shame myself.  I don’t body shame any other beautiful woman.  I just don’t.  If anything, I think when I was younger, I body shamed my skinnier friends!  Yes, I think body shaming can go either way.  So, I say find the skin YOU’RE comfortable in!  That’s not for anyone else to decide.  I do believe we should always be honoring our bodies and being as healthy as we can be but I don’t believe there’s any certain way we SHOULD look for anyone else or society as a whole!

And, that’s just what I’m doing!  I’m still learning not to body shame myself….to love myself…to love my body….honestly I don’t believe it’s a job that’s ever done.  I’m learning….but old habits die hard.  I still have those moments of insecurity because I got really good at being insecure!!  I’m learning to love my body as it is, while I’m working hard to make it even stronger.

Ah, yes, STRONGER.  I used to think I wanted to be skinnier.  I even used a password once “Iwannabskinny.”  I used and thought that word ALL. THE. TIME.  That makes me sad.  As if being “skinny” is anything.  Does skinny change your life?  No.  STRONG changes your life.

So, I’m gonna keep on getting stronger!  I’m gonna keep on finding my comfortable while loving and honoring my body just the way it is!  Yes, I want abs!  I want to be sculpted!  I want to look and feel even STRONGER!

And, here’s my progress pics over the last 3 weeks.  I JUST posted on Wednesday that with my doctor’s advice I was going to go on a gluten detox but we didn’t get the test results back we did earlier this week.  And, since the antibiotics seem to be helping the pain and my bloating is going away, I decided to wait and see a bit longer.  As I said last week, with a clean diet, you don’t eat a lot of gluten and as long as my body is responding to what I’m doing AND until we get results that say otherwise, I’m just gonna keep on keepin’ on as is.

With the help of awesome workouts, lots of water, and PLAN A from the Hammer & Chisel nutrition guide with containers added in if I felt extra hungry, I’ve lost 2 inches around belly button and 3 from my lower abs!!  I’m going to start sharing my weekly meal plan and schedule with ya’ll ~ both to help give you ideas AND to help me stay more accountable as I finish out these next 90 days until the competition!!

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!  Stay true to your goals this weekend!  Don’t use it as an excuse to throw all your hard work this past week away!!