binge eating Archives -

FIT(ish)

06|8|2017

I’ve been in LOOOOOOOOOOVE for a while now but every time I add a few super cute tops to my cart, I forget to ever actually checkout lol. (Hey, my shopping friends….do you ever just go to your fave online shopping site and add things to your cart….and then kinda purposely LEAVE them…IN THE CART? It’s like the rush of shopping minus the spending part. lol #sometimesitworks #sometimesitdoesnt)

ANYHOO, I saw another coach with a FIT(ish) tank on yesterday so I finally decided I was gonna order! But, not really seeing a FB ad for it like how I normally see them, I went to Google. So, funny story….I type in FIT(ISH) and Google asks “Did you mean FET(ISH)?” and then proceeds to pop up a warning that the key word I’m searching for MAY bring up some sketchy content. Ok, sketchy is my word, not Google’s…but I had to laugh that GOOGLE tried to autocorrect the word FOR me and THEN proceeded to tell me that I probably shouldn’t have been searching for what “I” was searching for….and should be prepared for what I was about to see lol. Um, thank you but just let me search what I put in and we should be just fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

So, after Google actually let me get to where I was going, I FINALLY ordered this!!

AND this!!

(Ok, yes, I admit that my meme shirts and tanks collection knows no bounds but life’s too short not to have a little fun and they make me happy.)

So, HOW PERFECT IS THIS?!?!

FIT(ish): Semi-fit; Kind of fit. Someone who likes the idea of being fit but equally likes food.

Can I get a HALLELUJAH?!? Can I get an AMEN?!?

Ummmmm, hElLo….I’m Dina & I’m FIT……ish.

I TOTALLY love the idea of being fit.

I TOTALLY love working out….MOST of the time.

BUT, I equally love food…..especially in the form of cupcakes & sushi & pizza….OH & not food….but & beer…..& wine.

#justkeepinitrealyall

Which is why I totally needed this shirt AND do something fun with this concept!!

Here’s the current FIT(ish) me ~

I COULD pick myself apart.

Ok, actually, indulge me for a second while I do just that….lol.

I currently have a muffin top. I don’t have a thigh gap (and pretty sure I never will….not that it’s really even a goal of mine to have one). My arms & thighs & calves are “thick.” I have back fat & armpit fat. I gain first in my boobs and lose first…in my boobs lol. I’m working on a double chin again. AND, what you can’t see in these pics are cellulite and stretchmarks on my tummy & thighs and a C-section shelf (ha, what’s a C-section shelf you’re maybe wondering?? It’s like an extra layer of skin that just hangs out over a C-section scar ~ I wouldn’t trade my scar for anything in the world BUT that shelf can get gone any year now lol…..seriously she’s 7).

Speaking of thigh gaps. #fridayfunny

SO, YES, I still SEE and FEEL all those things. I’d be lying to y’all if I said I didn’t.

But, here’s the deal. I don’t obsess about them anymore.

When I was this size before I had B, I often wore over-sized clothing to hide everything. And, I wouldn’t be caught DEAD in a swimsuit and often declined invitations to any predicament that would involve one (how sad).

But, as my weight has crept up these past 2 years, I decided I wouldn’t be hiding THIS TIME. AND, I certainly didn’t want B to see me hiding….especially when it came to swimsuits and not enjoying the water with her. I LOVE the water!! I always have! So, I was even denying myself something I enjoyed out of fear of being judged….(mostly by people who didn’t even know me or would likely ever see me again mind you!!!)…..and not loving myself for EVERY stage my body is in.

Maybe part of this simply comes with age. I do believe the older and hopefully wiser we get we just simply start to care less and less what others think of us.

But, I also believe I’m just a different person than I was back then. I’m stronger on the inside. I could give a rat’s ass if someone rolls their eyes at me because I wore a bikini to the pool (AND YOU SHOULD, TOO!). I’m not interested in being a picture of perfection for my team or my clients or any of you because I don’t believe anyone NEEDS me to be perfect AND AND I would NEVER expect anyone else to be perfect….I simply believe they need me to believe in them and support them the best I can and for me to keep sharing the real story.

Know that you can start late, look different, be uncertain and STILL succeed.

While I certainly didn’t expect to be a “plus-size” health & fitness coach after over 3-1/2 years, I have to believe there’s a reason I’m here. As I reflect on my struggles since I started, I honestly don’t think I would be as strong as I am now had I stayed thinner and not dealt with what life threw at me. I believe with all my heart that God has been teaching me something through all of this. I didn’t always stop to listen BUT as I said in my last blog post (if you wanna read a bit more, you can check it out HERE), we grow through what we go through. I wouldn’t have grown if it weren’t for the struggle. I wouldn’t appreciate my health like I do. I wouldn’t have as many of the tools I do now to survive and thrive because I wouldn’t have went looking for them. And, I believe there are people in my life I either never would’ve met or they wouldn’t have the same place in my heart and my life they do now. It’s a blessing in disguise. It’s a “God thing.”

I’m here to say today that I AM embracing this season!!

I’m owning my “plus-size” body!! (Us coaches really do come in ALLLLLLLL different shapes and sizes! That’s the beauty of what it means to be a coach! None of us are perfect! And, we don’t have to be!! We don’t have to be F.I.T. all the time. We don’t have to be a certain percentage of body fat. We don’t have to have a physical transformation story. We don’t have to have it all figured out. We don’t have to have a degree or certification in anything. We just have to be better than we were yesterday….a majority of the time. We just have to love and honor our bodies and our minds. We just have to CARE. We just have to build others up. We just have to share what we’ve been through and share the tools we’ve been fortunate enough to be given.)

I’m also here to say I still have FIT(ish) goals!!

I’m not sure I’ll ever compete on stage like I’ve talked about before. I still think of it from time to time but I’ve also read stories of women who’ve done it and while it was one of the things they felt the most proud about, it also really messed with their mind and their body. I’m not sure given my history it’s a good idea to purposely try to do either after all this hard work and the hard work I’m gonna continue to do.

I’m fortunate enough to have the opportunity to go to the Riviera Maya next spring for a coaching reward and rest assured I WILL be ROCKIN’ a bikini! A coach friend of mine made the goal to be in a swimsuit for like the first time EVER on the annual trip for us a few months ago and SHE.FREAKING.ROCKED.THAT.GOAL. AND, she JUST announced this week that next year by this time she WILL ROCK a BIKINI because she’s never been in a bikini. I decided I’m taking that challenge with her!!!!

Her name is Amy….or as I like to call her “Amazing Amy”….and here she is!
Not only is her transformation amazing, her Faith, her joy, her love of helping and praying over others is TRULY AMAZING.
You can click on the image to go to her FB page for more of her story 🙂
She has completed many BB programs! Including in the past year, the Ultimate Reset, the 21 Day Fix, a few rounds of Core De Force and is currently in THE OFFICIAL TEST group for the new program coming out in July, SHIFT SHOP!

Wow, just wow, right?!?

And, here I was the last time I committed to a bikini goal. This was also before & on a coach trip when I got to take my sister to Cancun!!

Was I the fittest coach in the pool? Um no. Was I the fittest I’ve ever been in a bikini? Um yes.
And, that was all that mattered to me.
I’m making a promise to myself to be MORE FIT(ish) this next time in Mexico!!!

I’m embracing where I’m at in my journey…..but I’m sooooooo not done.
I honestly don’t have a bikini that fits me right now so I don’t have a “before” pic yet but I will be sharing soon to stay accountable.

AND, I have an exciting opportunity for YOU if you’d like to be more FIT(ish) with ME!

I’m hosting a new FIT(ish) Bootcamp starting June 19th and I’d LOVE to have some beautiful-just-the-way-you-are women join me! We’ll be working on our bodies for sure BUT we’ll be working harder on our minds! I wanna focus on helping YOU rock that swimsuit no matter what! I’ll be using the OOLA Fitness & Fun tips (if you haven’t heard me talk about OOLA for Women, you should be excited and honestly join even just for that!!)

CLICK HERE TO APPLY!
OR scroll all the way to the bottom and apply right on this page 🙂

I’m only taking 10 new clients so apply asap to be considered!

And, I’ll leave you with this because if you don’t already believe this, print this out like a hundred times and PUT IT EVERYWHERE!

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I’ve learned a lot this year…

12|27|2016

When I came across this quote on Pinterest, I thought it was the perfect theme for my first blog post back since being hacked! It’s been about a month since I’ve been able to post and publish and I’ve missed my little outlet!

First, here’s the quote I found and a pic taken by Amanda Magnuson during a Mother’s Day special. 🙂

And, now for my part…..

I’ve learned that it’s okay to fall down. What’s not okay is to stay down. And, it’s even OKAY to fall down over and over and over as long as you’re always willing to try and get up again. We learn more about ourselves (AND others) in our losses than we ever will in our wins.

I’ve learned that having a victim mentality only leaves you more….of a victim. It will leave you stuck. Take ownership of your own life. You don’t have to be a victim of your circumstances. Have you ever heard the saying, “Things don’t happen TO you they happen FOR you?” ~ Michael Hyatt #onpoint ~ Now, of course some of those things will be devastatingly sad and often tragic. But, it’s so true that how we get through life is how we face those things….how we come through the storm. Horrible things have and will continue to happen to all of us but we have a God to thank for letting us LOVE. If we didn’t have the gift and the ability to love, we would never know pain. And, if we never knew pain, we would never need belief and Faith. And, what does Julia Roberts say in Steel Magnolias….still one of my favorite lines in a movie like EVER ~ “I would rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.”

I’ve learned that we should be more like kids and be persistent in asking for the things we want in life. When was the last time your kid only asked for something he or she wanted once?!?

I’ve learned that there are some cartoons I can tolerate more than others. Barbie and the Dreamhouse, YES. Peppa Pig, NO.

I’ve learned that it’s okay to ask for help, even if it makes you look silly. If you’re not willing to look silly from time to time, nothing great will EVER happen for you.

I’ve learned that being vulnerable is healing, even if it makes you look silly like I mentioned above…from time to time. I have no doubt I’ve make myself look silly since I started this blog and sharing my story. I’ve talked about binge and closet eating….about hiding food….about being a jealous person….about comparing myself to others…about being lost in my Faith….about bad habits….about starting different workout programs and not finishing….I could go on but I digress… 😉 But, I can also say that having someone reach out to me saying they’ve been in the same place before and can relate to something in my story and that it just helps to know they are not alone made everything worth me looking a little silly. I would rather look silly for a while and help myself and others heal in the process than to only show y’all my highlight reel.

I’ve learned that sometimes our joy is just broken and we don’t always know why or when it happened. And, that there aren’t always answers for it. AND, sometimes you can spend way too many precious moments that you’ll never get back looking for answers that don’t exist. Sometimes you just have to let it be. Sometimes you just have to let go so you can find your joy again. #letgoandletGod

I’ve learned that trying to please everyone but yourself will only leave you empty. Learning how and when to say no and when to say yes is the best service you can do for yourself. People will learn to respect you.

I’ve learned you’re never too old to change and to dream big. I’ve known this one for a few years now but this past year was the epitome of embracing this. As a coach, I’ve had the pleasure of connecting with people in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s! Your age doesn’t define you! Just like the damn scale, it’s just a number. You’re only as old as you feel. I let it hold me back but I realized this year that although I wished I would’ve found coaching earlier in life and I wished I would’ve started my blog and written a book already, I probably was not ready to accept the opportunities. I had some learning and growing and coming into my own to do. And, I’ve been very busy doing that these past 3 years. We can play the whole woulda-shoulda-coulda-wish game OR we can just live for the day and keep pushing to live our lives by our own design….no matter if we’re in our 20s or our 80s!

I’ve learned that there is still really good, wholesome TV out there. #ThisIsUs #bestshowthisyear

I’ve learned that doing the best I can as a mom is GOOD enough! I’ll be straight up that there are many days I wake up and ask myself “How bad am I gonna screw her up today?” And, while it’s taken me over 6 years, I’m finally getting to the point where I’m okay with just doing the best I can. Some days I work too much at home. Some days I give in to her demands too much and too often. Some days I am short with her for no fault of her own. Some days I forget to sign her school binder until she’s getting ready to get out of the car at school. Some days I don’t make her go to church. And, some days (okay ALL the days), I buy the cupcakes (and the cookies). But, I just started to embrace the fact I’m a #hotmessmom. I stay the bath tub and read with a glass of wine too long sometimes. I hate baking so I buy the cupcakes. I let her eat popcorn in bed. And, she STILL drinks chocolate milk from a sippy at night and falls asleep to Netflix. And, here’s the deal….I probably just made myself look rather silly to a lot of you moms out there and that’s freaking OKAY. AND, quite possibly, I just made a LOT of you moms out there feel REALLY good about your parenting skills. #heyigotskillstoo but #youdoyou ~ ‘cuz you know what, if you’re the complete opposite of me on all those things, I would EMBRACE and ADMIRE you….because….again….#youdoyou #maybeyoucanshowmehow ~ These past few years are the first years in my life where I started to just be okay with being…..ME. I’m tired of apologizing to and for myself for just being…..ME….the hot mess that I am. And, I’m pretty sure despite all my craziness, B still knows I love her and that I would give anything to protect her.

I’ve learned that having depression and anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of. I was dealing with it most of this year and unlike the two other times in my life when it was really bad, this time I had the courage to talk about….to ask for help. And, I wouldn’t be where I am today had I not been honest….with myself and others about it. One of my mentors has said you should wait until you’re through a storm to talk about it openly….and mostly because if you haven’t healed, it can be counter-productive for you and you’re also not at a stage to help anyone else maybe dealing with the same. It can also honestly just look like you’re complaining or playing the victim. But, since I’m coming through it, I feel like I want to share some of it in the hopes it can maybe help someone else. I made a lot of mistakes working my way through this time and if talking about it could help someone else, I’m all for it. And some of the #hotmessness above is in part a reflection of what was going on with me. It’s hard enough to think about what it does to you but to think of what it can do to those around you is heartbreaking. Now, don’t get me wrong ~ I’m a hot mess regardless. I own that shit. But, there are things that can make it worse if you’re me. I’m working on a separate blog post but I want to stress that if you’re fighting that fight and you haven’t told anyone, you don’t have to suffer in silence. You can overcome so much sooner and in more healthy of ways if you talk to a professional or ask someone for help. There’s no shame in it what-so-ever and I truly believe it should be talked about. It seems to be a taboo subject for many. I’m here to talk about it openly.

I’ve learned that my love of baseball caps and beanies knows no boundaries. And, I love the mystery of “Am I on day 1 of clean hair or day 4 of not-so-clean-hair? #givemeallyourdryshampoo

I’ve learned that doing one thing really well when it feels like you suck at everything else is OKAY. I was really good at working out this year as long as I wasn’t limited by a few minor injuries and being sick. I focused hard on that one good thing I tell ya! And, I think I owe a lot of my sanity to my fitness!!!

I’ve learned there is TOTALLY a difference between really good wine and box wine. #iknowright?!?!

I’ve learned I’m still a total kid when it comes to Christmas. While I don’t care about a hundred gifts anymore, opening a box full of things that were all TOTALLY me from my sister, a new pair of Nikes from Daryn, and a Fearless Dogearred necklace from my mom made me smile. It made me smile almost as much as seeing all the excitement and smiles that B had every morning with the dang Elf on the Shelf and with Santa and the Tooth Fairy BOTH on Christmas Eve. YES, girlfriend was visited by Santa AND the Tooth Fairy on the same night. #whatarethechances

So, there you have it. I will have more of what I learned this past year and other things about how excited I am for a new year coming soon. But, wanted to say HEY….so HEYyyyyyyyY! I’m back and I’m SUPER excited to just be….back.

All the unsexy things (v5 or something like that)

10|18|2016

Stuck.

In a funk.

Tired.

Blah.

Uninspired.

Unmotivated.

Lazy.

These have been a lot of words running through my head for the past many months.

And, not surprisingly, the more those words ran through my head, the more stuck and in a funk and tired and blah and uninspired and unmotivated and lazy I felt.

Ahhhhhh, the body achieves what the mind believes.

It’s almost crazy how much your body can react physically to the words and the thoughts you keep replaying in your mind.

I actually spent most of my life with those same words in the back of my mind ~ almost as if they were taunting me to stay there….to stay uncomfortably comfortable.

But, what I found was that with knowledge comes power. And, that change is a choice. AND, that with change comes freedom.

I’m still gonna have the funk from time to time! I’m still gonna have times in my life when it’s hard just to get outta bed. If you’ve dealt with depression and anxiety, you know how seemingly easy it can be to go back there. I’m still gonna fall. And, SOMETIMES those periods in time are gonna last longer and be harder to push through than others.

But, the seriously awesome thing is I recognize it happening now. I didn’t always see it for what it was….because I honestly don’t think I ever knew what it was like to feel REALLY REALLY good. The SERIOUSLY AWESOME THING is that now I know how good I can feel when I’m filling my mind with positive words, with positive thoughts and with hopes and dreams instead of doubts and fears, with an amazing support system and with the proper nutrition.

I know the things I need to do, to focus on, to pray about.

And, I know to be patient with myself.

It took me the better part of 20 years to want to truly change. And, once I did, I think on some level I thought it would just be easy then. I think I thought I would never struggle again.

How naive.

I found this earlier today and it spoke VOLUMES to me. I fell down again at some point along the way. I honestly don’t even remember when for sure and it doesn’t matter. But, there have been a lot of days since then that I CHOSE to stay down. And, I look at all the sickness and sadness and tragedy around me and I start feeling pretty dang selfish. Because I do have a CHOICE. I’m one of the lucky ones.

So, I’ve been praying even more these days ~ trying to find answers to so many of life’s questions. And, maybe someday I’ll be able to share more of what’s happening in my life but for now I share my transformation story. I share how I feel I’m growing on the inside and how my health & fitness journey is changing my outside. I share the ups and the downs and the do-evers and the new beginnings and the failed attempts at something new. I hope I share HOPE to those of you out there with a story similar to mine….to all the girls out there who’ve battled body image issues and unhealthy relationships with food and binge eating and who’ve partied too much and who’ve let someone else tell you you couldn’t do something that was on your heart to do and who’ve let fear hold you back for far too long.

None of that has to be your story ya know. It was my story. I let it be my story. But, it’s not the story I care to write anymore.

I’m still rewriting my story…..one fitness program, one change of plans, one meal, one challenge group, one personal growth book, one devotion, one message in church, and one day at a time.

I don’t care HOW many times you have to read this or something similar to yourself but start doing it! Read it every day….many times a day….and OUT LOUD is even better! It has even more power over the brain when spoken out loud! Positive affirmations are one of the unsexy things I do almost daily now. It seemed silly to me when I first started to do it as part of The Miracle Morning. But, a funny thing happened the more I did it….I actually started to feel and think differently! We can retrain our brains into a belief pattern through prayer and positive affirmations. And, you know the best time to start retraining your brain and start rewriting your story? Yesterday. You know the second best time to start? Now. And, if you’re the praying kind, maybe even more importantly, start there. Start just having a conversation with God every morning before you do ANYTHING else. Before you look at your phone……before you brush your teeth…..even before you make your coffee ~ GASP! And, what’s great is you don’t have to know how to pray. I think I got caught up in thinking I didn’t know how to pray for far too long. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be. Just talk to Him. And, if you’re still stuck, try this one 🙂

Live loved,
Dina

p.s. I was gonna talk about my most current change of my plans with my fitness goal but it doesn’t seem to fit this post so stayed tuned!! btw if you’re keeping track of my blogadays (ha, as if 😉 ), this is day 15 of 365! #thoughtyoushouldknow #LYPblogaday #faithinmotion