In a funk.
These have been a lot of words running through my head for the past many months.
And, not surprisingly, the more those words ran through my head, the more stuck and in a funk and tired and blah and uninspired and unmotivated and lazy I felt.
Ahhhhhh, the body achieves what the mind believes.
It’s almost crazy how much your body can react physically to the words and the thoughts you keep replaying in your mind.
I actually spent most of my life with those same words in the back of my mind ~ almost as if they were taunting me to stay there….to stay uncomfortably comfortable.
But, what I found was that with knowledge comes power. And, that change is a choice. AND, that with change comes freedom.
I’m still gonna have the funk from time to time! I’m still gonna have times in my life when it’s hard just to get outta bed. If you’ve dealt with depression and anxiety, you know how seemingly easy it can be to go back there. I’m still gonna fall. And, SOMETIMES those periods in time are gonna last longer and be harder to push through than others.
But, the seriously awesome thing is I recognize it happening now. I didn’t always see it for what it was….because I honestly don’t think I ever knew what it was like to feel REALLY REALLY good. The SERIOUSLY AWESOME THING is that now I know how good I can feel when I’m filling my mind with positive words, with positive thoughts and with hopes and dreams instead of doubts and fears, with an amazing support system and with the proper nutrition.
I know the things I need to do, to focus on, to pray about.
And, I know to be patient with myself.
It took me the better part of 20 years to want to truly change. And, once I did, I think on some level I thought it would just be easy then. I think I thought I would never struggle again.
I found this earlier today and it spoke VOLUMES to me. I fell down again at some point along the way. I honestly don’t even remember when for sure and it doesn’t matter. But, there have been a lot of days since then that I CHOSE to stay down. And, I look at all the sickness and sadness and tragedy around me and I start feeling pretty dang selfish. Because I do have a CHOICE. I’m one of the lucky ones.
So, I’ve been praying even more these days ~ trying to find answers to so many of life’s questions. And, maybe someday I’ll be able to share more of what’s happening in my life but for now I share my transformation story. I share how I feel I’m growing on the inside and how my health & fitness journey is changing my outside. I share the ups and the downs and the do-evers and the new beginnings and the failed attempts at something new. I hope I share HOPE to those of you out there with a story similar to mine….to all the girls out there who’ve battled body image issues and unhealthy relationships with food and binge eating and who’ve partied too much and who’ve let someone else tell you you couldn’t do something that was on your heart to do and who’ve let fear hold you back for far too long.
None of that has to be your story ya know. It was my story. I let it be my story. But, it’s not the story I care to write anymore.
I’m still rewriting my story…..one fitness program, one change of plans, one meal, one challenge group, one personal growth book, one devotion, one message in church, and one day at a time.
I don’t care HOW many times you have to read this or something similar to yourself but start doing it! Read it every day….many times a day….and OUT LOUD is even better! It has even more power over the brain when spoken out loud! Positive affirmations are one of the unsexy things I do almost daily now. It seemed silly to me when I first started to do it as part of The Miracle Morning. But, a funny thing happened the more I did it….I actually started to feel and think differently! We can retrain our brains into a belief pattern through prayer and positive affirmations. And, you know the best time to start retraining your brain and start rewriting your story? Yesterday. You know the second best time to start? Now. And, if you’re the praying kind, maybe even more importantly, start there. Start just having a conversation with God every morning before you do ANYTHING else. Before you look at your phone……before you brush your teeth…..even before you make your coffee ~ GASP! And, what’s great is you don’t have to know how to pray. I think I got caught up in thinking I didn’t know how to pray for far too long. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be. Just talk to Him. And, if you’re still stuck, try this one 🙂
p.s. I was gonna talk about my most current change of my plans with my fitness goal but it doesn’t seem to fit this post so stayed tuned!! btw if you’re keeping track of my blogadays (ha, as if 😉 ), this is day 15 of 365! #thoughtyoushouldknow #LYPblogaday #faithinmotion